1. i asked the trainer at the gym what's the best machine to use to impress my girlfriend- he said the atm. 23

2. of course i know how to shut up. i just don’t know when. 17

3. no, i did not trip, the floor just looked like it needed a hug. 11

4. i changed all my passwords to ‘incorrect’. so my blackberry just tells me when i forget. 11

5. what up 10

6. so, i just saw a spider and automatically just suddenly became a ninja 5

7. why is anyone still on blackberry? 4