Top 117 Facebook Status Messages Ranked!

Top 117 Facebook Status Messages!

Original List by Joe-1313738725
The best of the grand invention of the Facebook status messages.

1. dont you find it funny that after monday(m) and tuesday(t), the rest of the week says wtf? ►

540

dont you find it funny that after monday(m) and tuesday(t), the rest of the week says wtf?

"very clever."

2. when i got the key to success someone changed the lock:-p ►

367

"from ranqit comment"

3. is wondering if you can grow marijuana on farmville then sell it on mafia wars?

216

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4. a relationship status that says 'it's complicated' just means 'in a relationship with a psycho' ►

189

"me"

5. your intelligence is my common sense ►

185

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6. she explored my body, licked, sucked, swallowed! when satisfied, she left! damn mosquito ►

181

"tejas bhavsar"

7. light travels faster than sound. this is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. ►

159

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8. speak only when you feel your words are better than silence! ►

155

"malik neyazi"

9. if you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say 'in jesus' name, amen' ►

125

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10. i wait online all day to see your name pop up. because even if it's a 5 min conversation it makes me smile ►

106

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11. is proud of herself. she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years ►

81

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12. never laugh at your wife's choices. you're one of them! ►

73

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13. youtube, twitter and facebook are combining and will now be called youtwitface ►

67

youtube, twitter and facebook are combining and will now be called youtwitface

"@jsringo - lol"

14. lord i want to be worthy of your mercy. with your grace i know i can be. amen ►

67

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15. just when the mind found the answers, the heart changed the question.. ►

64

"shailesh shukla"

16. facebook is like jail. sit and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know. ►

57

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17. (>'.')># i was going to give u this waffle,but im hungry, so i ate it (>'#'<)

54

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18. is sick and tired of being sick and tired. =( ►

54

is sick and tired of being sick and tired. =(

"dawn"

19. before conjugation, you help each other get naked. after conjugation, you only dress yourself. ►

52

"abhishek anand"

20. i am nobody. nobody's perfect. therefore, i am perfect ►

51

"@Amir Hamza"

21. the awkward moment when god asks beyonce “who runs the world?” ►

47

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22. just because you have the right to do something does not make it the right thing to do. ►

42

"bunny sick"

23. seeing a spider is nothing. it becomes a problem when it disappears. ►

41

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24. my door is always open, so you're free to leave any time. ►

39

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25. is mad her guidance counselor never told her she could be a pirate when she grew up ►

38

is mad her guidance counselor never told her she could be a pirate when she grew up

"leigh ann"

26. if you live life so cautiously as to never fail, you end up failing at living life itself. ►

37

"@godsofruin"

27. have you noticed that the ' lol ' symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud ►

37

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28. ur happiness is my sadness bcoz its the emptyness of my wallet.... ►

37

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29. i dont want to hurt you!!!!!......it is on the list though! ►

35

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30. anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart. ►

35

"inderjeet hanzra"

31. if money growed on trees then girls wouldn't mind dating monkeys......:d:d:d:d ►

34

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32. i dream of a perfect world where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned ►

33

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33. roll up your problems, lick down your solutions. burn the past. inhale the goodshit, and exhale the bullshit. ►

32

"written by deathkrutcher"

34. feels like doing homework. so is waiting for that feeling to pass ►

29

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35. don't follow me, i'm lost too ►

25

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36. i'd rather check my facebook than face my checkbook ►

25

"espritlk.blogspot.com"

37. have you seen superman ? i see it everyday when i come in front of a mirror :) ►

24

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38. you're so vain, i bet you think this status is about you, don't you? don't you? ►

24

"lisa"

39. insert coin to view my status message ►

23

"aslam cpy"

40. girls are like roads...the more curves they hav more dangerous they are! ;p ►

23

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41. women!!!!!!!! the most efficient way of cutting a mans bank account short!! ►

23

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42. coins always make sound but currency notes are always silent. so when your value increase keep yourself calm and silent..............@$#!$# ►

22

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43. if only life came with a ?? rew ? play ¦¦pause ¦¦stop ?? ff ►

22

"very clever."

44. being ugly isnt ur fault but coming out and scaring others is definitely ur fault ►

22

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45. boy: hey dad i got a girlfriend dad: good job son! girl: hey daddy i got a boyfriend! dad: *loads sh ►

20

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46. when people talk about right and left, they're not talking about right and wrong ►

20

when people talk about right and left, they

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47. u broke my heart bt y do my heart still beats and loves u like i used to...... ►

19

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48. hey, why are you reading my status? get back to your work !!! ►

19

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49. dont talk behind my back because you're in a good position to kiss my butt! ►

18

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50. on a scale of 1 - adele, how bad was your breakup? ►

17

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51. scratch here ###### to see today's status! ►

17

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52. if i want to raise a carnie family with my carnie wife. who are you to stop us?! ►

17

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53. 'he is no fool who loses what he cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose' ►

16

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54. be good like god with an extra o... god knows that my check needs some extra o's ►

15

"kyle smee"

55. i stepped on a frosted flake..i guess that makes me a cereal killer?=( ►

15

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56. people hang on my every word, even the prepositions... ►

14

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57. behind every successful woman there is a man checking her ass out!! ►

14

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58. parents always teach their child's not to talk 2 strangers,,,but d funny thing iz dis--- dey thmselves support arrange marriages :-( ►

14

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59. if a cop stops me nd says papers........... nd i say scissors,,, do i win????? ►

13

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60. have you ever noticed that all women behave a lot like gremlings? they are all nice & cute, but if feed them & make them wet they get crazy ►

13

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61. money is directly proportional to happiness... ►

13

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62. let me change social network as father joined the same i am using now ►

13

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63. - the first americans revolted over a 3-cent tax ►

13

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64. its better to struggle together, than make it alone. ►

13

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65. women are like cats; they never come when you call, but come right away as soon as you ignore them. ►

13

"from Carmen"

66. nothing can be beautiful which is not true. ►

13

"John Ruskin"

67. i have a long list of things to accomplish today....now if i could only find the list!!!!! ►

13

"Julie"

68. there is add friend button on my profile, kindly, don't click it... ►

12

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69. is not 'staying out of trouble' and not 'keeping busy' ►

12

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70. feds cite constitution in lawsuit against arizona: if only they would follow it themselves! ►

12

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71. you think life can't get any better, then you move to texas ►

12

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72. stupid: seeing the truth, knowing the truth, and still choosing to believe the lies ►

12

"shahrukh shaikh"

73. shut up! i wear heals bigger then you ►

12

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74. i wonder if a receptionist at a sperm bank has ever used the phrase: 'thanks for coming.' ►

12

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75. i forgot to pretend to water my fake flowers ►

11

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76. good girls go to heaven,bad girls make you feel like you are in heaven!! ►

11

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77. wife: i wish i was a newspaper, so i'd be in your hands all day. husband: i too wish that you were a newspaper, so i could have a new one ev ►

11

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78. women are like gremlings, there all cute and nice, but onces they get wet.they turn into monsters :) -ghs iceland ►

11

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79. my computer beat me at chess...but it was no match for me at wrestling! ►

11

"arman mann"

80. do you believe in love at first sight ir do i have to walk by again ? :d ►

11

"aashish kaji"

81. when a thing is new, people say: 'it is not true'. later, when its truth becomes obvious, they say: ►

11

"'Anyway, it's not new.' - William James"

82. there is a great man who makes every man feel small. but the real great man is the man who makes every man feel great ►

11

"every man feel great. - G.K. Chesterton"

83. to write it, one must suffer it. ►

10

"Petronius from Quo Vadis"

84. i either want less corruption or more opportunity to participate in it ►

10

"espritlk.blogspot.com"

85. you're not even worth the letters in this status ►

10

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86. dejav is what i get everytym i think of you! ►

10

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87. i don't believe in the constitution because i'm american; i'm american because i believe in the cons ►

10

"jsb morse"

88. being able to be with the one you love is the good thng and u must always appreciate that ►

10

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89. just like the alphabet, i come before u! <3

10

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90. plizzzzzz,! my money is an endagered species!!! i aint giving you none

10

plizzzzzz,! my money is an endagered species!!! i aint giving you none

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91. i wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at a floor and think, 'i'd so tap that.' ►

10

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92. look at my face-> :)does it really look like i care who you with!! ►

10

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93. children should be taught that they are infinitely valuable, but also that they're not the only ones who are. ►

9

"JSBM"

94. the last time, i was inside of a woman. it was when i was inside the statue of liberty. ►

9

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95. you're so vain, i bet you think this status is about you, don't you? don't you? ►

9

"lisa"

96. i think that if your relationship status says, “it’s complicated” that you should stop kidding yours ►

9

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97. if at first you don't secede, try, try again ►

9

"mike church"

98. is proud of himself. he finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years ►

9

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99. one is apt to think of moral failure as due to weakness of character: more often it is due to an inadequate ideal ►

9

"inadequate ideal. - Richard Livingstone"

100. a good occupational force must never crush; it must corrupt. ►

9

"From Becket (1966)"

101. it's better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate ►

9

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102. there ain't no rules around here. we're trying to accomplish something. ►

8

"Thomas Edison"

103. turned down the lead role in a cage and is sticking with the walk-on part in the war ►

8

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104. who would have known that snookie & gremlings are twins,if you think about it,both are fluffy and cute,and turn into monster if they get wet

8

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105. 'reading old messages den realizing . .hw much u actually miss dat one prsn. . . .'? </3 ►

8

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106. girls are like cell phones, they like to be held and talked to, but press the wrong button and you’re disconnected. ►

7

"Viet"

107. my attitude :- a girl proposed to me. and i said: ! ! 'sorry, i won`t accept your proposal, but i apprecate your selection...'!........... ►

7

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108. the test results are in. i'm a hypochondriac. ►

7

"@joejoejoejoe47"

109. i liked the answer of this germaniun muslim scholar when he was asked about terrorism and islam : he said : who started the first world war ? muslims

6

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110. fooey!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i had to say one time!! ►

6

fooey!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i had to say one time!!

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111. excuse me, if i go straight this way will i find your heart? ►

6

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112. i asked everyone except god. no one answered me except god. ►

6

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113. never says something 'tastes like chicken' not even chicken ►

6

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114. i changed my ipod’s name to titanic...it’s syncing now ►

5

"Rick"

115. if you treat me like a princess.... then you get to f*** me like a pornstar . ( hildur lilliendahl )

5

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116. do youhave a permit?coz girl arent you driving me crazy! ►

4

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117. if i was any better, i'd be twins ►

4

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