1. wear pants when i leave the house 13

2. i will find that bastard who let the dogs out 12

3. stop making new year's resolutions 11

4. be more positive and less sarcastic, like i won't screw that up right away 11

5. love myself like kanye loves himself 10

6. i will never again take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 10

7. my new year resolution is: 1024 by 968 pixels! 10

8. i will shower less and use more cologne 10

9. i will find out what the hell that smell is 10

10. i will change my username to 'password' and my password to 'username' 8

11. i will stop saying," ooh, that feels nice" whenever the security guys frisk me at airports. 8

12. stop blaming others on my flatulants 8

13. stop talking on the phone while on the pot 7

14. reject a supermodel every once in a while 7

15. making love while sky diving 7

16. i will work with neglected children...my own 5

17. i will change all the clocks flashing '12:00' 4

18. don't eat medicine just because it looks like candy. 3

19. i will always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump. 2