"this stuff is so good, the poor cap'n, usually entertaining us customers by giving us a spoonful on the box cover, can't help himself. he is drawn to take a bite himself. irresistable. unstopable."

"by far the tastiest of the franchises. the all-some-natural fruit flavors mix ith the even less natural sweetened corn flavors to produce a ridiculous flavor explosion. and what's more? it turns your milk a yummy purple color. you want the crunch? you can't handle the crunch"

"this is like one of those flashbacks from a great movie...a movie made of cereal. only this flashback doesn't reveal how our protagonist met the leading lady, it shows how the good cap'n got his start on the high seas fighting off the sogalators. he shows his true nature (granted he looks a little crazed, but it's all good)"

"back beat the original (well, the other franchises did), even in spite of the fact that it cuts up the roof of your mouth because it's impossibly crunchy. no soggalating these little barrels of goodness."

"are you kidding me? i had so much respect for the good cap'n until i saw this shit. am i to believe he allowed this breach of contract, this aberation of nature to exist? and he just shruggs it off like he doesn't care--worse, he might have intended it? it wasn't him--maybe an evil twin, but not the cap'n"