1. if i had to describe myself in one word, it would be 'bad at following directions'. 10

2. i'll never forget where i buried that hatchet. 10

3. compromise: an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted 9

4. if nobody knows the troubles you've seen, then you don't live in a small town. 8

5. it ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat! 6

6. it's time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside. 6

7. i need a backspace key for my mouth. 4

8. if it's free, it's advice. if you pay for it, it's counseling. if you can use either one, it's a mir 3

9. the economy is so bad that exxon laid off 25 congressmen. 2