| 1. |
toilet water splashes up into your business
I take serious precautions to prevent it, but we all know it's a possibility--that dirty, criminally infested water splashes up into your business after you drop a deuce. There isn't enough TP or hand sanitizer to wipe off the stain from that.
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| 2. |
sit next to darth vader giving birth
It's bad enough that you have to be next to other people when they're being all biological, but must we edure the cacophonous, painful experiences of these people in such hi fidelity grossness?
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| 3. |
sit next to a tauntaun unloading his smelly intestines
"I thought they smelled bad on the outside" was Han Solo's famous quip about the Star Wars beasts. Yes, they smell worse on the inside and your coworkers or random strangers are no better. light a match or maybe not because the whole room might explode from your infinite methane-producing bowels.
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| 4. |
run out of toilet paper
There's a reason why we go to the bathroom. We want to leave certain things in the bathroom, not take them with us for the rest of the day. Toilet paper helps us in this endeavor, until it's gone. What follows is a bizarre dance to find some other paper product in the near vicinity without completely soiling your body. Not pretty.
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| 5. |
sit next to a smoker
Farts are bad enough. Farts mixed with the stale stench of an ashtray mouthed villian is worse.
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| 6. |
run out of paper towels
I don't want to touch things that other people touched after touching their junk. It's a simple goal and one that paper towels helps me acheive. When they run out--or worse--when the bathrool operaters don't even have paper towels, we have a problem and you're going to see a lot of acrobatic moves utilizing feet.
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